Appropriate Appellation for Aurea

“Mistress, what do you like to be called?” is a question I was frequently surprised by in My early years as a Domme. During the beginning of My journey into the life I, naively, surmised that “Mistress” was the only moniker for one’s Top.

I learned pretty quickly. Especially as My social group widened and I made friends with Dommes who don’t like this or that name for which and whatever very valid reason. For example, I have always been drawn to “Goddess” as a title because power-play, control and blind obedience (aka ‘faith’) are turn-ons for Me. However, I know fantastic Dommes who find this word silly and therefore devaluing; I fully understand their point of view.

I’m very relaxed on this topic. My reply to this question within a session is that I accept any of the typical titles as long as you use one. In other words: to call Me simply “Aurea” would be a punishable error but none of the common BDSM salutations are personally offensive to Me.

And then I started receiving emails from uneducated clients and suddenly I experienced what it feels like to be enraged by a greeting and now I understand why well-trained clients have been asking Me that question with such visible nervousness all these years: to err when addressing a Domina is a guaranteed antecedent to absolute fury.

“Mistress, please instruct this slave: what do You like to be called?”

I had thought the answer, for Me, was “Anything”. I never did think I would need to expand: “Any common BDSM address”. Never would I expect to need to explain “nothing else“. What could I possibly mean by this? Mind-blowingly, I refer to adjectives such as: “beautiful”, “gorgeous”, “lovely” and worst of all “sexy”. There are more but I’ve successfully erased them from My memory like the witnessing of an extremely traumatic accident.

Firstly, if you approach someone in the D/s life then, even if you are not in that life, you should respect Her choices and not disregard them. At best that looks like you are invalidating My lifestyle; at worst, that you contemn it.

Secondly, a Lady is more than Her appearance. Is it possible that I have to say this in 2017? If your greeting to Her references only Her beauty then you have just reduced Her to nothing but a pretty picture. “Dear Gorgeous Aurea” means “Dear Aurea who I am only emailing because She is attractive and therefore of interest to me”. Even worse is “Hi gorgeous”. you couldn’t even take the time to use My name. So My name, My whole identity, becomes merely “gorgeous”. Worse still is “sexy”. This word is more about the effect of My looks upon you. So now you’ve downgraded Me to absolutely nothing but a thing which you find sexually appealing; you’ve managed to make even My identity about you.

I’m trying to think of any circumstance when these words would be appropriate in an initial email. I’m struggling. Indeed, even vanilla sex-workers, who may trade more upon their outward appearance, are additionally skilled professionals and businesswomen deserving of a wider scale of recognition, at the very least, upon inaugural contact.

There is another question I am often asked in session: “Mistress, You are so beautiful, why are there so few pictures of You?”. My response to this is just as established. My sessions, fetishes and brand of dominance do not revolve around My looks in any way. I enjoy getting down and dirty, comfortable and sweaty, cerebral and non-observable. I find sessions where I need to be concerned with My appearance difficult and really stressful.

If you’re not approaching Me for My skillset then do not approach Me.

If you are and you think it appropriate to start your approach with “Hi beautiful” then you need to take some time to examine your latent mysogyny and your need to objectify women and view nothing deeper than their pictorial appeal, before any credible Domme may even bother to reply: “Hi moron”.

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Jersey Dates

I will be available for sessions in New Jersey during the dates Friday 3rd – Sunday 5th November. Exact locations are still fluid so get in touch NOW if you are interested. L’Aurea. x

The first step to Femocracy

I spent last month on the road a lot. Far more than I have for a long time. While slave chauffeured, My mind wandered as I surveyed the highway around Me.

A three line freeway is an allegory to life and One may tell the personalities of each individual driver. Without fail, the landscape depressed Me. The vast majority of drivers were male: One could tell before looking into the window to confirm. How? Well because men make asshole drivers. Like I said – an allegory to life. They drive with only a thought to their own vehicle and how they “compete” with other vehicles. A good road driver (as opposed to any kind of race driver – that’s a different cockfight) handles themselves, their machine and the others in their environment like a dance. A good road driver is aware at all times of everything happening around them and strives always to strike a beautiful balance between their own aims and their surrounding society. That doesn’t only mean driving courteously, it means to consider all repercussions of their movements:        do I HAVE to brake now or could I slow down naturally? – if My brake lights go on then it will affect those behind Me;          am I really in the best lane? could I achieve My desired speed perfectly comfortably in an area where I am further from other drivers concerns?

Rarely did I see the ‘slow lane’ even used at all – NEWS ALERT: rules of the road say that EVERYONE should be in the inside lane unless they are actively overtaking, but I guess that doesn’t compute when your sense of self-worth is directly tied to other drivers’ perception of your vacuous display of driver-assertiveness. Frequently, I saw drivers brake, then accelerate, then brake – NEWS ALERT: you are never supposed to brake on a highway except in case of emergency, but men cannot think of a drive as a continual journey, like goldfish they can only process the information in 3 second pieces. And never did I see someone use their hazard lights to signal any politeness to fellow road-occupants – they are there for a reason, people, how about you let those behind you know if there is something unusual ahead, or – God forbid – thank them for an act of generosity.

I’m not talking about road rage, I’m talking about the micro-adjustments which the multi-faceted minds of Ladies can calculate, versus the single-mindedness of a phallus powering a bullet through an audience.

When the Femocracy revolution begins, perhaps we should start by banning males from public highways.

Just a thought!

 

 

 

Die Liebe ist genau so unproblematisch wie ein Fahrzeug. Problematisch sind nur die Lenker, die Fahrgäste und die Straße.
Kafka

Tour Return Dates: Washington DC

I’ve returned from tour and slept for 24 hours!! – Phew what a whirlwind!

I think that I have contacted everyone I met during the tour to follow-up, if you have not heard from Me since our session PLEASE do send and email or text to check in, I’m normally so organised but travelling has worn Me out a little bit!

If you live in Boston or in Washington DC then I probably mentioned to you that I have already had a lot of requests to return. I am already announcing these dates and they are already getting booked.

My return date for Washington DC won’t be until just after Christmas/NY but I have already started to take bookings.

I will be returning for 5th-7th January 2018.  The VERY BEGINNING of the new year, don’t leave it too late to book. 

I can’t wait to see you all again. XXX

Tour – Return Dates: BOSTON

I’ve returned from tour and slept for 24 hours!! – Phew what a whirlwind!

I think that I have contacted everyone I met during the tour to follow-up, if you have not heard from Me since our session PLEASE do send and email or text to check in, I’m normally so organised but travelling has worn Me out a little bit!

If you live in Boston or in Washington DC then I probably mentioned to you that I have already had a lot of requests to return. I am already announcing these dates and they are already getting booked.

My return date for Boston is SOON so you will need to book NOW.

I will be returning for Tuesday 10th October 2017  One day only so BOOK NOW.